(no subject)

In going to write for Kinktober/Whumptober this year, I've found a certain level of frustration. Every single thing I write feels wrong, every situation not good enough, every single sentence a weird display of lacking skill. Not a fun feeling. But then I go to draw something, and that comes out fine... 
I'll feel guilty if I don't end up posting anything for either -tober event, I know, but I'll feel bad if I post something that just sucks. I fluctuate between feeling like I can write anything at all or write nothing at all, and I'd really rather I get back to the 'anything' stage real soon. I think I've sunk down into being too aware of how other people perceive me lately. That's never good. I think I do my best work when I say "fuck it" to everything and everyone and just make whatever makes me happy.
As much as I want to say I'll "try" to write something for either event (in fact, I already have elsewhere), if I say I "try" and then don't, then I just feel like I've failed. If I say I will do something and don't, I feel like I've failed. I need to write something good, but stressing about writing something good won't help me write anything good at all.
Or something.